I have been on the phone to Vodafone "customer services" and PremierPlan insurers all morning. I am three months into an insurance claim. It took a month and two hours today to get Vodafone to release the IMEI (ID) number for my old phone, which I lost in Oman. But that wasn't the end of it, oh no. The insurer also wanted proof of use or proof of banning. mmmmm.
This is my worst yet experience with modern corporate services and the nightmare of bouncing from one provider to another, with each one demanding yet more and more proof of security, proof of usage, proof of life etc. Each time I think I am getting somewhere they ask me for something else.
Sorry sir, we can't provide you proof of usage because you have not used the phone in the last three months.
Yes, that's because I lost the phone four months ago and have been trying to claim insurance on the phone for the last three months.
I hear what you're saying sir - thick Scottish policeman-type burr - but we do not keep records beyond three months sir, and you have not passed DP security. (That's data protection to you). DP demands they keep data for three years but not when it's you asking them for data, then they are buried in a silo as deep as hell.
The Vodafone button pushers would no doubt demand the ID of an old lady before agreeing to call an ambulance for her ongoing heart attack. Stalin's NKVD had nothing on these guys. These people are so versed in the practice of bureaucratic security that there is nothing you can do to reach the end of the endless tunnel of despair which they exist in. Not this way, no, not this way, that way, yes, no this way, that way, stop, go, backwards, no, you did not register, you do not pass Data Protection. How do we know you are who you say you are? Just ask me. I was a customer with you for 13 years. But we don't know that. Terry Gilliam, eat your heart out.
If you continue to talk over me sir I will terminate the call.
My crime is that I did not 'register' the phone that they sold me. This means that the phone does not exist on the Vodafone system, even though they provided this handset. I have been trying to register this handset with Vodafone and with the insurer for the last four hours. Once registered I can then blacklist it. Following? A nice Indian man at Vodafone contracts has just told me he will email me proof of usage for the phone. I hope this will satisfy the insurer. He will also blacklist the phone.
I am not there yet. There is more to be done for this insurance claim, which began in December. I will never, ever, ever take out an insurance policy on a phone again. If I lose this one, I will go back to using a string and a plastic cup with a hole in it.
I am not sure whether Vodafone or Phones4U Premier Plan are the worst culprit. I am not a little old lady but I don't spend my waking hours trying to remember exactly when I last topped up my phone a year ago, or remembering old security pins, oh I must register my phone with the evil corporation that sold it to me. This is my crime, for which I am now paying.
They don't seem to have any sense of duty to customers to do simple things like register a phone WHICH THEY SOLD. Nightmare.
Update 24 hours later...no email from Vodaphone, no proof of use. Back to square one.
No comments:
Post a Comment